Keep Calm And Let The Adventure Continue: 2017

Sorry, I blogged off for quite some time!

It’s been ages since my last blog but I kind of have an excuse. To state that my feet have barely touched ground in the last ten months would be somewhat of an understatement. I’ve hardly had time to sit down at the computer, let alone put finger tips to keyboard and produce a blog. I did have something ready to publish after Christmas but then my laptop was stolen in a house robbery so that put pay to that. The robbery is only part of the story. So much else has happened to me and those closest around me that it would need a voluminous work to explain. I’ll just try and summarise to bring you up to speed. In short, I survived Christmas, came home, fell in love, turned 50, got engaged and put wedding plans in motion, suffered more sad family losses, came close to death after being kicked in the head by a horse, marked the first anniversary of Brian’s passing, submitted my first tax return like the grown up I’ve become, have moved to a new house and have become a ‘lady of leisure’ (at least for the next year!)

The passing of the Festive Season was a breeze. My family made it their mission to see me through my first Christmas without Brian and they did it well. I awoke and whispered my Seasons Greetings to him and then prepared to spend the day with my family. In the ten days I was there, the family home played host to handfuls of friends who came to visit. It was a very special time for me indeed.

My time away from my sunny Andalucian home came at a stage when a new relationship was about to blossom. Of course, so soon after losing Brian I wasn’t looking to become involved with anyone else; however, the love that came along felt undeniably natural. He’d been my (and Brian’s) best friend for nearly ten years and I’d adored him as such for all that time so I knew the transition to loving him as my partner would be easy. When it happened, our announcement came as no surprise to family and friends closest to us, in truth they’d either guessed or said they saw us ending up together. One or two of these lovely friends had even played their part in getting us together in the first place! If you don’t know already, his name is Scott. I could extol his many virtues and qualities but that would only embarrass him, so I’ll spare him that (for now at least!)

My new man and me on holiday in Portugal this July

By some cruel twist of fate, earlier this year my sister lost her husband following a long illness and not long after that, another brother-in-law finally lost his battle with cancer. Elsewhere, others I know have also lost their loved ones and perhaps most tragic and senseless of these was when our neighbours’ 17-year-old son tragically died in April. All of us are showing our bravery and all of us are proving that strength and resolve is what we are made of. I've come to recognise this as the norm now. We are all amazing!

So, within weeks of finding out that my best friend was in love with me (maybe in future I’ll dissect how on earth I didn’t see it coming!) and within a very short time of me discovering the same about him, he announced he wanted to marry me and we were engaged by March. The sorting and clearing out of unwanted stuff in my own home suddenly became urgent as it was clear that his place would be where I would very soon end up. For a while, we managed to commute between our two houses but that was hardly going to be practical in the long term.

Our engagement

Crates out of storage and ready to pack

No sooner than moving up a gear to prepare for my new life with the new man in it, I went and got myself kicked in the head by a horse which put me in hospital for three days on a drip in Intensive Care. Scott had me labelled as a goner. Indeed, had the kick been a centimetre or two in either direction about my head, I most probably would have been. Months later my eyes still get a bit out of focus and tired in low light but they will continue to improve and I’m thankfully generally mended. The experience has ended my involvement with horses; there’s simply no way I am prepared to put Scott through that again.

My recovery on track, so then also was the move from my house into Finca Tres Hermanos which has been Scott’s home for the past 16 years. To make ready for the move, a new kitchen and living room extension was commissioned through a very capable Spanish friend and once this was finished, my move progressed in stages and has only recently been completed. I still own Finca del Olivar which has been spruced up and prepared for renting out to a friend and he’ll be moving in soon and has promised to look after the place as if it were his own; no less than the place deserves for having been such a happy home to me for the past ten years. I’m pretty sure Brian would approve.

Packing up the kitchen

Drafting in some help with the furniture

Humbug and Fudge coped with the move out of the only home they’ve ever known but are still getting used to the three dogs they now share a living space with. The dogs are quite used to cats but my two aren’t yet fully aware of that and still prefer to keep their distance, saving their excursions out of the cat flap until the cover of night! That said, they haven’t hesitated to lay claim to the house and utter a suitable ‘hiss’ when the dogs come a little too close for comfort.

Finca del Olivar gets a spruce up!

I shall save telling you about my job as a teacher as I’ve taken the decision not to return this academic year. There are a few reasons for this, not least of which is that I am simply too busy running two homes, getting straight and planning our wedding for June next year. Things are beginning to quieten down on the house management front but an element of sorting out remains to be done and one or two areas of redecorating still need to be finished. When things have quietened down a bit, maybe I’ll consider a small amount of private tutoring should it venture my way.

So, that’s brought you up to speed but I’ll take the time to break some of the more notable events of the last few months down to more detail in future blogs. As I look back, I can’t quite believe sometimes just how much my life has changed. An old chapter of my life has ended and that book has been closed. A new book is being written and I couldn’t be happier or more excited about it. I can safely say I’ve survived grief and my Andalucian Adventure can now continue and follow an altered theme. I get the distinct feeling that Brian is sending his blessing down from the stars, happy in the knowledge that his best friend has my best interests at heart. I have no doubt also that he would have entrusted me to no one other.

My advice for anyone wary or reluctant to find love again would be to grab the chance to let someone else show how much they love them. It doesn’t dishonour the life you shared before, however much they think it might. I have surprised myself at how deeply I am able to love again and it’s a wonderful feeling. I’m surrounded by others showing great courage as they move on with their own lives after losing those they’ve loved and it’s a wonderfully uplifting sight to see how well they are doing it.